Monday, April 30, 2007

Parked up someone else's arse

Our neighbour, who lives with his girlfriend and new baby boy, had, up until recently, not been on good terms with us for reasons unknown. On one particularly fine evening when I was in my garden I offered to assist in a small way with a task he had undertaken which involved removing an out building adjoining our garden. He declined the offer assuring me that he had done all he needed to do in removing the bushes that were preventing him from completing the task.
It was at that point that I thought I would take the opportunity to ask him if he had a problem or any concerns with us as neighbours. He informed me that he did indeed have a problem and it revolved around my parking on the road outside the front of our houses. I did not wish to offend him or further exasperate the situation so I apologised for any grief I may have inadvertently and unknowingly caused and said that if we both parked sensibly there would be enough room for everyone. The road we live on is a main thoroughfare and I always had the understanding with his girlfriend that we should always be courteous to one another when parking up; this I believed would still stand with her boyfriend now that he had eventually learned to drive some 18 months ago.
We have ignored the fact that he takes up two parking spaces just so that he can ‘squarely’ align his car with the outside of his house. We have also ignored his parking so close to our cars that it is impossible to walk between the two of them, also the fact that he has driven his car at speed when we have been around to intimidate family members, and the fact that he shouts obscenities from the safety of his own home, or under his breath at our teenage daughters, who find this offence 20 something year old a ‘bit of a knob’.
We have kept to our bargain and parked sensibly but alas he has reverted back to his old ways in a very short period of time.
We think him sad and petty and we can only hope that for the sake of his reasonably nice girlfriend and the upbringing of his son that she kicks him out sooner rather than later.
It’s a pity he did not pay more attention to the mess he made at the rear of the house; thanks to his removal of the outbuilding we cannot get our car in our garage due to all the rubble left behind by the skip removal company.
His immediate neighbour the other side of him is not best pleased by his efforts either.

He has gone from friendly to pig ignorant it seems almost overnight; I wonder if any of this has anything to do with the fact that his girlfriend has discovered he has had his private parts parked in someone else’s’ ‘parking lot’.

[This time it was his girlfriends turn to shout obscenities which could be overheard by ourselves]


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