Thursday, May 01, 2008

Who am I?

One of my biggest fears for years has been that I may eventually turn into my Father and despite my protestations over as many years other people have tried to convince me that I already am him. I can now see some of his traits beginning to manifest themselves and not always the good ones which are most disconcerting since we never got on, so does that mean that I now hate myself as much as I did my Father?

I now have another fear, which is that I may be turning into my Mother as well. Her worse traits - such as never knowing the full details or facts to a story, not knowing what she is buying in shops, eating half of what is on her plate and then passing it over to me, getting words, people and places mixed up – are not in themselves all that bad in comparison with those of my Father but now that I can see them in myself I am somewhat alarmed.

Who wants to be like their Mother for fcuk sake?

Just the other day I tried to give my eldest daughter half a packet of opened sweets to take back home with her, this is something my Mother is always doing to us and invariably they remain in the packet at home until we throw them out.

I am also beginning to get confused over the dates and times of events that are imminent on the calendar, such as when we are supposed to have friends around for dinner and what date the christening of my nephew’s lad is. Without my partner I would be lost as far as keeping diary entries are concerned.

I am not suffering from Alzheimer’s or anything, although you would not know it at times, but I think it is a good job that one of my other daughters has just joined a support group for suffers.

To be perfectly honest I think my Mother drove my Father mad with distraction over their forty odd years of marriage and between them they kind of messed my head up a little which is why I am the person I am today, but may not be the same person I am tomorrow.

Anyone wish to finish this beef pastry?



At 7:54 pm , Blogger yellowdog granny said...

i find myself saying and doing 'parents' stuff all the time...makes me crazy and then i laugh..what can you do are who you are...
i remember once not eating every thing on my plate (we were living in laredo, texas after the flood in the late fifties and it was very very very poor country...) and mother said i should eat it all that there were probably kids in laredo that would be grateful if they found that in the garbage can..i said well, let them have it as they need it more than me...we both had different thoughts on the same subject..ha

At 7:54 pm , Blogger yellowdog granny said...

oooh, beef pastie...ill take it...


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